My Mother Emmanuel

One of my proudest moments as an American came on June 19^th 2015 at a bond hearing for a racist domestic terrorist. While watching it live, I didn’t expect families’ members of the Charleston Church shooting to speak. I thought it would of just been the usual preliminary event, one in which I could look with disgust at the face of a demented sociopath. And then as the judge motioned for them to speak I no doubt prepared to change the channel, knowing it would be the usual victim’s cries of angst and woe that would fill me with resentment and sadness enough to cause me to change the channel so as not to be affected by their pain empathically. When confronting criminals who have harmed them, victims usually sound similar. They wail and rightly so condemn their oppressor, letting out their anger as a catharsis to perhaps reach some type of closure with their feelings. Ego takes over at times while expressing such anger and sorrow. “How could you of done this to me, you have taken so much from me, and I want you to know how much pain you have caused. I hope you suffer”, some may proclaim. I want you to suffer as you have made me suffer so that justice may prevail. But no. Most of these typical justifiable reasonable feelings were not expressed by family members of this prayer study group that was mercilessly gun down. No. As so eloquently stated by the Rev. Norvel Goff the Sunday after the senseless massacre; these were people of faith. Faith! Our Christ said love your enemies! Love your enemies! This piece of the Gospel of Christ is seldom uttered perhaps because it is so profound and alien to what? It would be reasonable to say our survival, or justice but is it? For what do we gain from hate? What do we gain from not loving those who hate use and harm us? Satisfaction? That’s fleeting and carnal. Do we submit to their will, no way; that’s not love. Do we merely punish them and rebuke in the hopes a lesson will be learned and its tenants followed therein? That’s not enough. That’s not enough because it lacks the space needed to transcend, transform, transmit wholly the important task of ending such hate in order to move toward constructive change, breaking down all the barriers of vanity and materialism that strangles and chokes the very air we breathe. That air by the way is God.

I forgive you they said. I hope that you may reflect upon this and come to accept the grace of God he gives to us freely. A grace, as so historically said by our President during the eulogy for Rev. Clementa Pinckney, “a grace that we do not deserve”. A grace that we do not deserve! “I have mercy on your soul! God forgive you and I forgive you!” “We would like you to take this opportunity to repent” “do that and you will be better off”. “This is the peace and tranquility of faith and belief. This is the strength of God fearing people. My mercy I bestow upon you so that we all may receive mercy and peace. So that my soul may find rest and comfort, safe from torment and pain. You see, the pain I feel as tears stream from my face, was shed on the cross in an understanding that through love all things good can bring harmony to my being and to us. And so one after the other they did the most important thing they could do during that bond hearing. They knew at that moment in time there was a purpose to their words indeed. “I acknowledge that I am very angry,” said Bethane Middleton-Brown, sister of one of the victims, DePayne Middleton-Doctor. But “she taught me that we are the family that love built. We have no room for hating.” These people are my family. I am so proud and grateful to have felt this peace giving me the opportunity, an opportunity I don’t deserve to see all, every single person, with love. Because God is love.  

    June 19^th 2015 was a historic day because it brought about healing and as the president said, it opened hearts including his. Through these truths there are no barriers to our harmony and prosperity as a people. Those flags that went up to favor Jim Crow will come down, our honorable officers across this great nation will all learn how to protect and serve as they nearly all already do, our divine righteous democracy will be achieved, and our opportunities to prosper will grow equitably. By their example as great Americans and true Christians we are led. We are all given the chance to be a part of this family built on love. Go home. Go home pick up and carry the true heart of your church, your synagogue, your temple, your meeting whatever your faith may be so that we may all heal as the Mother Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal church does.